Grow Down

One of the things I've noticed in my advancing years is that no one acts their age any more.  Most adults would say that they have an inner child, just waiting to get out and play.  A lot of us will from time to time, act childish.  We may play jokes, pranks, and run around and have fun.  There are people in their 50s, 60s, and even older who still from time to time, slip back into acting a little childish.

And why not?  It is fun, carefree, and in a way refreshing to get away from the monotony of adult life.  A lot of people post about how they "don't want to adult today."  They want to be able to go back to the days of being a child, with no bills, no responsibility, just having fun on a nice summer day.

But unfortunately, there's a group of people who don't want to be kids....  Who are they?  Why, the answer is so obvious.

Kids.

That's right.  Kids do not want to be kids.  Perhaps it is all they know and they find it boring.  Perhaps they want the responsibility.  Perhaps they just want to be treated like adults, but still have the fun of being a child.

Don't we all.

Yes, I will admit, I have an inner child, and it is very much at play a lot more than what would be considered "normal."  I play video games, watch cartoons, and still like to have childish fun at the expense of others. [Sorry honey, but you knew this when you signed the wedding certificate. :p] But I am also very much an adult.  I go to work, I earn money, and contribute to the bills every month.  And I will say, I would find it extremely demeaning to be treated like a kid.

Perhaps kids feel it is demeaning to be treated like a kid as well.  But kids do not understand what "being an adult" is all about.  They haven't experienced adulthood, and therefore they aren't entirely sure what that all entails.  They don't understand that you have to earn money, pay bills, take care of kids, etc.  

Yet, kids want to be treated like adults.  They want to be out as late as they want (something adults don't even do as we have to go to work the next day), go joyriding in the vehicle (something adults have to put their hard earned money into to pay for the gas), have children (something adults regret doing some days when kids are being especially difficult), etc.

The biggest lesson here is: there is no perfect middle ground.  Not even in adults.  If an adult doesn't be an adult, then they aren't treated like an adult.  It's typically considered bad if an able-bodied, 30+ year old adult spends his life playing video games, watching TV, reading comics, surfing the internet, and still living with mom and dad instead of making money and being an adult.  It is just as bad if a 13 year old kid is working a job because he is expected to "grow up."

We shouldn't be telling people to "grow up."  While it is fun for an adult to escape to a simpler time and be a kid every so often, we shouldn't be encourage kids to be adults either.  Kids should be able to embrace their childhood, because time can not be rewound.  Kids should be allowed to be kids.  They also need to remember that there is no "middle ground."  There is no being treated like an adult while not having the responsibilities tied into it.  The respect of an adult is earned by what you do to be an adult.  If you have your own place to live, pay your own bills, cook your own meals, all with minimal to no help from your parents, THEN you are an adult.  Then you should be treated as such (even though some parents still treat their kids as kids [demeaning, I know]).

And for us adults, remember the phrase "age is just a number."  You are as old as you tell yourself you are.  You are as old as you feel.  I fully encourage everyone who is sick of being an adult, to just be a kid every once in a while.  Just don't forget to come back to adulthood when it is time for you to be responsible yet again.

Let me ask a question.  How old are you?  How old do you feel?  If you are someone who is always stressed and burned out from adulthood, take a day to be 10 or so.  Take a day to be a child.  If you have children of your own, this is a perfect bonding opportunity.  As always, thanks for reading!!

Sex offenders... who are the victims?

There has been a lot going on in the news with regards to child pornography.  It is definitely on the rise.  Just in the last 2 weeks, there have been at least 2 cases happen locally to me.  This definitely seems higher than it used to be, when this was a thing that was rarely ever discussed.  Now, it is unfortunately, a reality, and to top it off, a lot of pedophiles feel that THEY are the victim because of the Sex Offender Registration and Notification Act (SORNA) and mandatory minimum sentences.  There are people who justify hebephilia (attraction to pubescent kids) because it is a natural instinct (as it is in nature when as soon as animals are able to reproduce, they do for survival).

Now, the real question is?  Are these people right?  Are they the victims of nature?

First of all, I will admit that I type this with a certain degree of bias.  I hate anyone who victimizes a child in any way, shape, or form.  I have a strong dislike towards people who abuse children, because I feel children are innocent and their whole lives become negatively affected by abuse sustained on them.  As I was a victim of child abuse (physical and mental), I can tell you that I was permanently affected by it.  Having never been sexually abused, I can not say that "I've been there," or that "I know what that is like," but I can say that abuse has long lasting effects that can potentially last a life time to get over.

So, I will always lean towards the victim being the child.

Now, let's get to the bottom of why sex offenders feel they are the victims.  The sex offender registry was created to notify people when sex offenders are moving next to them.  It is also there to notify potential homeowners of how many sex offenders live in their future neighborhood.  The sex offender registry was created to inform people for the safety of their children.  That's pretty much it.  Any use of that list beyond that purpose is actually considered a felony.

But people out there have used the list for more nefarious purposes.  They have done things like committing acts of violence against sex offenders, harassing them relentlessly, vandalizing their property, and killing them.  These people believe that they are making the world a better place by doing this.  This is debatable, as I feel people who commit heinous crimes against children, should meet the capital punishment system.

Some of the offenses don't even seem that severe (for instance, a 15 and a 17 year old dating and then the 17 year old turns 18 and is suddenly a sex offender because the 15 year old's parents do not approve).  There have been people who falsely have had people arrested just because they had a disagreement and falsely claimed their kids have been molested.  These are people who get tied into the sex offender registry as well, and they are demonized for it.

There are a lot of people who believe that hebephilia is normal, and it is natural.  It was going to be categorized as a DSM-V mental illness, and there was an uproar about it.  They argued that being attracted to pubescent kids is "normal, and natural."  To an extent, I can see their point of view: from a strictly biological standpoint.  People younger than the age of 20, tend to be the most fertile, and have higher levels of hormones.  In the wild, animals mate as soon as they are able.  So, it may seem like a natural instinct to be attracted to younger people.  However, as human beings, we are more sophisticated (at least we should be).  We have emotions, we have feelings.  We are not "wild" or "feral" creatures.  We have a complex social structure.  We, as humans, generally understand that kids do not fully understand the consequences of their actions.  Adolescents do not fully comprehend the extent of their actions when they consent, or when they are abused.  Full brain development doesn't stop until 30.  The younger they are, the less they understand the consequences of their actions.  The younger they are, the less they understand that having sex has long term emotional consequences beyond the risk of pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.  They don't understand what it means to have innocence and then not have it any more.  They don't understand that the way they feel about themselves changes when they give up their innocence.

Victims of abuse, do not understand this because they aren't developed enough to do so.  Just imagine what this means for the victim of child rape, who at the age of 2-3 was victimized, photographed, and raped for the pleasure of a disgraced Fire Chief and other perverts out there.  This is a child whose innocence was taken away at such a young age, she will NEVER have innocence.  It is actually remarkable how young people can remember things like this.  This is a girl whose life is PERMANENTLY affected by this.  She may have a normal childhood... but this is permanent.

So, who are the victims???  While most sex offenders typically feel they are the victims due to the sex offender registry, I really have to disagree.  A sex offender may have ruined his/her life in the process, but he/she ruined the life of someone else as well.  That sex offender ruined the innocence of a child.  A child who is learning at a vastly accelerated rate to an older person due to brain development.  This is a person, who is learning at a young age, the horrors of humanity.  A person who should be learning about math, science, and how to enjoy life, is learning about monsters with cameras and perverted intentions.

The victims of abuse are ALWAYS the children.

What are your opinions on this hot topic?  Do you agree, disagree?  As always, feel free to comment with your opinion.