Ode to Perforations

Oh perforations... how I hate thee, let me count the ways.... R-R-R-I-I-I-P-P-P...

Badly torn box.

For those wondering what I do outside of blogging (which had a brief hiatus as I was coming up with things to write about), I work at Walmart.  Part of my job responsibilities is to stock shelves.  A lot of our boxes are what is referred to as PDQs (Product Display Quantity or Pretty Darn Quick).  Basically, rip the box along the perforation, and it becomes a product display to put on the shelf.  In theory, this is supposed to help make the product more presentable for customers, and much easier for shelf stockers to get items on the shelf quickly.

In theory....

However, the bane of my existence when dealing with PDQs is perforations.  A perforation (for those REALLY not in the know) are pre-cut slots in the boxes.  They exist on important tax documents, credit card offers, PDQs (as already mentioned), and on other things.

Now, I don't know if I'm an idiot, but I HATE PERFORATIONS!!!!

If I try to rip anything along one of these perforations, I end up ripping beyond the perforation.  I find myself frustrated enough that end up just taking my little box cutter knife, on blade setting 1, and cutting the perforation just to open it.  My question is:  how is these any faster?

It definitely isn't neater if the perforation rips beyond the line is it supposed to rip upon.  It just looks shoddy.  Ripping checks out of check books have resulted in damaged checks (luckily not in half yet), but there are occasionally chunks missing out of the top.  It's not MY fault, blame the perforation!!!

I swear, there is a conspiracy by the people who invented perforations to piss me off.  They are succeeding....

More than once, I find myself punching a PDQ in order to rip the perforation without taking my knife to it.  Most of the time, that works, other times, still have to break out the knife.

WHAT WERE THEY THINKING??  Seriously, if the perforations were designed to just look neat, then kudos.  But if they were meant to be functional... someone needs to be fired.  I am better off just getting a line on the box that says, "Cut here."  I guarantee my knife cuts will look neater.

But no.   These perforations will continue to laugh at me.  To mock me.  To make me look like a fool.  Other people will rip these perforations neatly.  It isn't the fact that they are better than me.  It is the fact that the perforations have it out for me.  I don't know if I made fun of their mother, but they enjoy my torment.

Screw you, perforations.

You may have won this round.  But I will have my revenge!!!

Do any of you have issues with perforations?  Feel free to comment.  If this post brightened your day, then feel free to share it.  Thanks for reading.